amazing boss

well, let me put that on record. i have an amazing boss. and, believe me, bosses generally are slimy, and uncouth and always trying to go one up over you, right or wrong? but this guy, he is my editor, is very chilled out. even when i tell him what's wrong with certain things at the workplace, or just tell him point blank that i don't want to do work that i dislike doing. i think that quality, of being receptive to criticism, is rare. and, it should be respected. well, the best thing about this guy is he is so reasonable. if it is even remotely reasonable he will do it. last year, i fell sick, and for two whole months i couldn't get up to go to office. what did i do? just worked from home, with half my mental and physical faculties intact. just last month i told him i wanted to start writing again, and only stuff that i want to write, stuff that i believe will make a good story. he said cool, do it. for one who is so accustomed to seeing slimy people populate offices everywhere, he is a welcome break. and no, he doesn't know i blog. so, this is not some ingenious way to curry favour!

to hell with shmucks

to al the shmucks in the world, just buzz off!!! don't even try to be slimy, because i can see thru that sliminess....just BUZZ OFF!!!

nobody tells me what to do

it is common courtesy to ask beforehand if i am interested in doing something for the company. nobody has the right to thrust it down my throat, especially since i am not your regular employee and i want to do stories that i am convinced about, not something that should be done like fillers. so, just don't try to stuff your incompetence down my throat.

Dith Pran (1942-2008)

Dith Pran is dead. For all you movie buffs and genocide haters, Pran was the epitome of courage and tenacity. See The Killing Fields, a marvelously moving and beautiful movie of Khmer Rouge's brutal experiments to turn Cambodia into an agricultural nation. Here's the link to his obit in the New York times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/31/nyregion/31dith.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

fab weather

in the city where i have lived all my life, the weather is amazing right now. it may be past spring elsewhere, but here it has been raining every evening, bringing nostalgia back into summer's doorstep...and, since the electricity department is kind enough to switch off power even if there is a distant storm, some late evening are positively vibrant, spent ruminating on past lives under dim emergency lamps....of course, i pity the kids who have to cram up for their exams, but well, one can't have everything in life, can one?

all the president's men

must watch!!! pls do at the earliest!!

that amazing feeling!

there is no better feeling than that which comes from a job well done. it's good to see my story in print. that too, a story i was passionate about writing. if you want to check it out, just click on the link.

five years in May

felt like a dream
while you were there,
three months in all;
now that you are gone
the years have
etched fine wrinkles
into memory.

a bit upset

that someone i befriended on a social networking site has been trying to cope all by herself over a recent break-up. what is the ideal way to soothe her feelings? is it by reassuring her you are there for her, or is it by just giving her enough space to come to terms with it herself? commento!!!!

mortal thoughts

this is one movie in which i absolutely liked bruce willis for his quirky portrayal of a junkie husband who beats up his wife and takes money from her for his dope....of course, he gets kileld half way thru the movie, but he is a stand out...you despise him.....just watch Kamal Hasan's Virumaandi, and yu will see how the narrative structure has been lifted from this movie....of course, demi moore looks fab!!!

saw bonnie & clyde

quite a beautiful movie. faye and warren actually made a good on-screen couple.

Bhagavatam

That's what I am reading now. Very subtle and extremely difficult to fathom. Try it folks.

what do you do...

...when someone is upset? offer to listen and give yu r phone time and chat time? especially if that someone is living somewhere else? or maybe throw a flower on facebook? at the end of the day we have to learn to cope by ourselves i guess!!!

unseen movies

on my desktop. wild strawberries, birth of a nation etc etc compete for my viewing pleasure. but nope, they just stay frozen on my hard disk. this internet and blogging has deprived me of simple pleasures. time to go to a net rehab centre to detox my system of chats, blogs, mails, social networks, and, of course, checking my credit card balance.

why changing the position...

...of your bed may not change your fortunes. i have this obsession, to rearrange my room's furniture, hoping the next chaos will get me closer to nirvana, whatever that means. (it is much more likely i would pass this Nirvana guy on the street without even nodding my head), but i never fail to be optimistic when it comes to feng shui, vastu shastra et al, their abilities to drastically change my fortunes in a jiffy. today was one such day. after much back breaking effort, the bed just came back to its rightful place, all beacuse i couldn't get the two tables that cramp my room for space, to disappear. this would have meant dematerialising my computer and wishing away all those unread magazines. well, to be sure, nothing ever happens that way. so i am left with the same huge bed, cot rather, and more tables than i need to blog from. so, folks, if you need help in packing and moving, just drop in a line. i may not be able to change your fortunes, but i sure can help with moving house!

discovering layers to someone

you may come across as brash, actually like you have a "devil may care" attitude;-))) but let's put it this way, there are layers and layers to people that don't unpeel in office settings. which is good and bad in a way. you lose out on knowing someone much more deeply than you could. well, that's why somebody invented blogging. so, here's to blogs and what it can to unite people. and as for getting to know somebody much better, there is always a time to start. for me, i think it is now.

touching base with old friends

many had been long lost, actually shrapnels from dim memories of school life. now, many of them are returning to claim mindspace and that feels good. school friendships always are special, no matter how many friends you make later on. there is this unalloyed joy at speaking to them, meeting them. and when some of them actually upload old photographs, it is so reminiscent of an age when nothing seemed to be real outside of school life. and at the same time, all those small petty enmities that consumed class hours seem so microscopic now. vanishing in time to take its place as just so many memories to add that list.

hoppin mad

don't know how, but some people are absolutely spineless, and others are downright slimy. i think it is just not enough if you have a voice, you have to use it to fight, against injustice and plain old skulduggery. if someone is trying to go one up over you, then i expect people in power to stand up for me, not agree with those b******* about anything. increasingly, i figure, the world is becoming more slimy, but with a polite facade to it. join me to outwit all those slimy ones.

void

it is this unexplained feeling of loneliness. of wanting to pass on when you are fifty. of having loved and lost and repeating that endless cycle without learning why. of acceptance and betrayal and small hurts and that feeling of not having done anything worthwhile. it is sitting staring at a 15 inch monitor and typing inanities while you should be sleeping. it is accepting a friend back into your life hoping they will stay, now that they have come back. it is hoping the one you love the most picks up your call or returns it. and it is this wonky feeling of not being trusted. it is this emotional black hole, from where nothing escapes, not even what you once felt for someone. it is timeless, and probably a message from the stars that we are, all of us, insignificant. it is probably all that, or just something that defies explanation. it is a void, and you know what i am talking about.

collected love

like carefully preserved match box covers
between pages of a notebook.
only, the notebook has yellowed
with time's passing
and all you
collected loves
have dropped off
along the way.

when we held hands

on a bus journey back from a movie. i don't remember what we spoke about, but yes, we held hands. like two dying souls before their last leap. why does that haunt? is it because you don't care to be with me anymore? or, is it because some people are never meant to come back? what is the purpose of having met, then? why is it that this causes so much heartache? i remember another day, when you refused to attend a concert, beacuse i was busy with class. and we managed to catch it finally. i don't understand. why did we hold hands if only to let go?

leaf, drowning

to want is to live
the life of a leaf
through raging water

a frnd is back

for two years i thought i lost you. and now technology has brougt us back together. hope it stays.

ides of March

March is the cruellest month, if you ask me, not April, as Shakespeare wrote. for one, its 31 days seem longer than any other 31-day month of the year. then, there is this irrepresible feeling that something bad is about to take place. then the usual break-ups, fights for no reason, wonkiness, blue days and red days and red herring days. on top of it, it is also a month when i have consistently managed to lose a friend, all these years. March, march on please!

feelin wonky

some days are like this. you get up hoping to change the wold, but end up with a wonky feelin by the end of it. well, maybe it was because somebody said, "i don't know you well enough". how much knowing is enough knowing? you either trust someone or you don't. of course, that is being black and white, but degrees of trust are wonky. like degrees of separation. have you people come across others who are hesitant to say what they feel like, offering some such lame excuse or the other?

what stops me from thinking?

sometimes, thinking, about your work, or life or the next big blockbuster book that youare going to write seems so difficult. i just wish i didn't have to think. just to keep things simple and uncomplicated. but without thinking, as Descartes would agree, we are nothing. That i swhat the West would want us to believe. But if you read the Bhagavad Gita carefully, it places more emphasis on action. do, it says. without thinking of the rewards that will accrue, or the pitfalls. this is harder. the West may have won this round. it is far easier to think, anticipating all the goodies at the end of the rainbow than just do. which explains why i haven't written a single word of my story for my magazine all these days, preferring to think about how to write it. all the while i have lost the doability quotient to the thinkability one. at what point does the thinking stop being something that we do to something that we think, in purely abstract terms? if you agree that thinking is a form of doing, but without the sweat to show for it, then obviously i have not been wasting time as my guilty mind is wont to accuse me of every now and then. but then, if the thinking doesn't lead to tangible results (ha, here lies my aha moment) then what is the use of thinking? now i know. thinking, as a form of doing, should also be freed of the results conundrum. only then will thought and action flow into a seamless fluidity worthy of any Zen precept. aha!

talking to strangers

facebook is such fun if you become friends with absolute strangers. i am amazed how people just let go of all masks once the relationship is long distance. at least for that, this online world we all escpae to is such fun.

holding a grudge is such a waste of time

it just saps you of much-needed energy to do other productive stuff. plus, you miss out on all the good things people do. may be i can do a little more of letting go. hopefully!